It was yet another torturous semester; but this sem was particularly a hard struggle, a tough fight.

I was struggling between a pass and a fail; which till now, I still have no idea if I managed to pass.

3 semester had passed.

Although I acknowledge the tremendous improvement in my knowledge (especially language),

I feel that I am nowhere far from where I took off.

Or perhaps, I might have moved 'backwards' instead.

The Shiqi that I used to know was a clear fighter;

always pushing her limits and always seeking for growth.

I no longer see that in myself..

Perhaps when I was learning/practising the concept of 'letting go',

I became too lenient to myself and started to embrace failures.

Well, I know, that's something we should learn, 

but I think at the same time, we should do our best too,

not telling yourself that 'it's okay to fail' before you even try.

Other than that, I remembered that my rationale for practising the concept of 'letting go' was mainly for myself to cope better and maintain a balance in life (have a good mix of school/family/fotang/rs/etc). But this was not fulfilled. Instead, I used the 'extra hours' (those free time that I 'gained' by not putting in my 100% for school work) to relax/chill/spend on things that are not as meaningful.

I'm not very, but extremely, disappointed with myself.

I hope I'll be able to move forward as my semester goes by.

If not, I would feel that I have wasted 4 years of my Uni life.

Uni life is supposed to make me grow stronger, not weaker.

So JIAYOU SHIQI, please make it happen, I know you can (:

Last point to note:

Remember to cultivate a relationship with God.

It's not only you and superboy, but with dearest bigmummy too.