Despite the overwhelming sweetness, I decided to cut clean with #ityy in order not to loose superboy. That was the price to pay for not being able to manage a platonic friendship well. How disappointed with myself!

It wasn't easy at all, for I clearly know the consequences of my words. That very night, I could feel my nerves tingling and my stomach filled with butterflies. I nearly give up, but superboy reminded me of my promise. #todoit.

And yes, I eventually did it. I repented and seek forgiveness from Bigmummy, promising that I will never let this happen again. I feel embarrassed, shameful and lousy as a tuition IC, for I was supposed to lead by example, and yet I engaged in such scandalous behaviour (e.g. daily greetings and updates, sweet-talking, etc). How would my fellow peers feel if they'd know about all these? I didn't dare to breath a word, hopping that he wouldn't too, even to his best friend.

My only wish is that we could still be close friends, one who texts each other to share our happiness/sadness or anything that could be bothering us. I wouldn't say I won't judge him because it's a fact that everyone judges others, and that's how the world works. But what I can say is, I accept him for who he is and genuinely love him as my friend. I disregard his flaws, for we were supposed to be learning and growing up together. So as promised to him, I will continue to support him for whatever he does and whatever he chooses.

Bigmummy, bless him like how you bless me (:

I hope to see an end to this vicious cycle.

No matter how sweet this is, it eventually has to stop.
So why not, now?

I'm tired.